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Apr. 21st, 2017 04:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jesse_dylanA few years back, I met a lady at her house. She said, before I came, "I hope you don't mind dogs or kids." I said, "I like both!"
It was unfortunate that her two kids looked too much alike for my brain to immediately process that they were two different people. It was internship-related, and I was SO NERVOUS, so when one of the girls let me in, I tried my best to be friendly, but I was just so damn scared.
Once I was in, that girl left. Later, another girl came out, and waved at me, and I thought it was the same girl. I was so confused that I did not wave back. I think I smiled friendily, though.
Odd to think that is one of my regrets in life, that I snubbed a young girl because I thought she was her sister (to this day, I have no idea which let me in and which waved at me, although I'd be able to tell them apart now).
It was unfortunate that her two kids looked too much alike for my brain to immediately process that they were two different people. It was internship-related, and I was SO NERVOUS, so when one of the girls let me in, I tried my best to be friendly, but I was just so damn scared.
Once I was in, that girl left. Later, another girl came out, and waved at me, and I thought it was the same girl. I was so confused that I did not wave back. I think I smiled friendily, though.
Odd to think that is one of my regrets in life, that I snubbed a young girl because I thought she was her sister (to this day, I have no idea which let me in and which waved at me, although I'd be able to tell them apart now).
(no subject)
Date: 2017-05-01 08:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2017-05-01 08:08 pm (UTC)Whom do you regret not saying goodbye to, if I might ask? I am terrible with goodbyes.
Other stuff that bugs me, is girls that got bullied in jr. high. I didn't do the bullying, but I was there and could have said something. Often these girls were some of the coolest in the whole class. But, I was scared of girls, scared of bullies, just scared in general. There is one girl from jr. high I am still seeking so that I can apologize.
I did find one and apologize to her. She had no recollection of me, the bullying, or anything! Just goes to show, I guess. (Goes to show what? I don't know.)
(no subject)
Date: 2017-05-01 08:16 pm (UTC)I also regret saying weird things to the dean and associate director of the library. I recently also mentioned that I'm tearing down stereotypes about atheists by not "raping and pillaging" in front of the entire library staff. That was perhaps not my finest moment.
I think sometimes we tend to hold onto some of these random regrets more than others. I have one...Okay, this makes me sound really terrible, but...There was this kid, Jeremy, when I was around 7 years old. He had down syndrome and at the time, I didn't know what that was. I just thought he was weird. I didn't bully him or anything, but at the daycare the other kids and I would run away from him, and he'd chase after us, laughing up a storm. He didn't realize it was kind of a mean thing--he thought we were playing with him. But I still think about it. And feel terrible.
(no subject)
Date: 2017-05-01 08:30 pm (UTC)I don't think your atheist comment is so bad. That's funny! Are you worried about it because it might be offensive to atheists, or because it might be offensive to non-atheists? :P Both? I'm constantly saying weird things. I have been called racist for offending white people. I can live with that. (I am white, if you couldn't tell, and I sort of think it's part of my job to offend other white people.) Things do still always bug me, though, no matter how hard I try to act tough and like I don't care. And what bugs me the most is the weird stuff I don't do on purpose. It's hard to be an introvert in an extroverted world. I sometimes try to say something, ANYTHING, figuring it's better than nothing, but then sometimes what I say is just so stupid. On the other hand, I am finding times/places where silence truly is appropriate and preferable, and that's great and seems to be a talent the extroverts will never have.
(no subject)
Date: 2017-05-01 08:46 pm (UTC)Haha. I'm an atheist, and I do think I'm breaking stereotypes by not "raping and pillaging" actually, because I'm some Christians expect that sort of thing out of us, but it just flew out of my mouth without any thought. We were having a workshop on diversity, so I wanted to make a mature, thoughtful comment in front of the whole staff about how I'm breaking stereotypes about atheists in my daily life. Instead I said I'm not "raping and pillaging" in front of the associate directors and whatnot.
And yes! I do that "search for anything to say that is semi-related to the current topic" thing and often time it comes out weird. Like the time the library dean and the associate director were talking about a sink hole down town, so I mentioned a sink hole in the backyard of this house that belonged to a junkie friend of my mother's. My mom was her drug dealer--one of her drug dealers, and we'd go to her house periodically. I liked to stare down into the sink hole. In any case, a dead body was found in their house at one point. It had been in the house with the woman's 5 kids over the weekend. I proceeded to speculate on why they didn't toss the body into the sink hole. The dean and associate director didn't say anything in response.
(no subject)
Date: 2017-05-01 09:03 pm (UTC)Well, I am neither an atheist nor a Christian (how many people have I offended already), but it does seem to me like typically it has been the Christians doing the raping and pillaging. But I guess an atheist saying that might not break down stereotypes about atheists. That's why it's left to me to say these weird things. I was going to ramble on, but maybe for once I'll leave without saying more weird stuff :P